Is it good to be this comfortable?

I went shopping at Costco.  It was huge.  A massive walk-in refrigerator neatly packed with all kinds of fresh produce.  Multiple flavors of freshly baked bread laid out on spacious tables.  Aisle-long freezers of instant dinners.  Pallets of cereals and canned goods.  Candies, beef jerky, peppercinos and other non-essential food items, all sold in bulk.  And it was all so clean.  Orderly.  Spacious.  Honestly, I was a little shocked.  Where did the crowded streets go?  Where were the merchants selling rotten fruit out of their bicycle baskets?  Vendors frying pastries in the streets?  Trash?  Smells?  And beggars?  Where are all the knock-off imports from India?  The chili candies?  Pollution?  Goat heads?  And desperation?

I have abandoned my orphans.

Poon Hill

I couldn't leave Nepal without doing at least a little trek, so I set aside some time and went on a 5 day circuit to Poon Hill.  The Ghorepani/Poon Hill trek was rumored to have incredible Himalayan views and didn't disappoint.  The main attraction is sunrise at the 10,500' Poon Hill viewpoint.  I missed it, of course.  I'd already seen one Himalayan sunrise alongside 50 other tourists.  And maybe it's just me, but I find it hard to balance the color in sunrise photos.  What I did see, however, was a crystalline midnight sky over Annapurna South the night before.  A breathtaking view magnified by the dead quiet and stillness of the high pass.  Crawling out of my sleeping bag, the chilled air was also quite breathtaking.  The single pane windows provide terrible insulation, but since there is no indoor heating their only real purpose is to block the wind.  I threw on a jacket, popped open a window and set up my camera for a few shots.  The wide angle in this shot captures the buildings below and the starry host above but sacrifices the magnitude and the presence of the mountains.  Here they feel rather small and distant, but in person (and especially in the stillness of the night) they were quite impressive!

I did make it up to Poon Hill later in the morning and found it all the more delightful for having it all to myself...

God vs Self

O God, be Thou exalted over my possessions. Nothing of earth's treasures shall seem dear unto me if only Thou art glorified in my life. Be Thou exalted over my friendships. I am determined that Thou shalt be above all, though I must stand deserted and alone in the midst of the earth. Be Thou exalted above my comforts. Though it mean the loss of bodily comforts and the carrying of heavy crosses I shall keep my vow made this day before Thee. Be Thou exalted over my reputation. Make me ambitious to please Thee even if as a result I must sink into obscurity and my name be forgotten as a dream. Rise, O Lord, into Thy proper place of honor, above my ambitions, above my likes and dislikes, above my family, my health and even my life itself. Let me decrease that Thou mayest increase, let me sink that Thou mayest rise above. Ride forth upon me as Thou didst ride into Jerusalem mounted upon the humble little beast, a colt, the foal of an ass, and let me hear the children cry to Thee, "Hosanna in the highest."       

-- A. W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God --

One of the more dangerous prayers I've heard.  One which I doubt many of us, myself included, are ready to pray.  But could it be that this is truly the key to "victorious living?"  Is this what it means to lose your life in order to gain it?  By surrendering everything at the feet of Jesus and allowing him alone to live and reign in our hearts do we cease to exist as an individual, or do we only then begin to be?  I couldn't tell you.

Then across the troubled waters, Jesus comes to us. We cry out in fear against Him, for we suspect what He will ask of us. He will ask that we cease all this and lose ourselves. And that is exactly what we do not want to do—we want to express ourselves. It is unnatural, ghostly, impossible. But as we strain further into our futilities, He keeps coming, till at last we let Him in. Then we lose ourselves in His will and purposes. We forget about our self-expression. And suddenly, we are at the land where we were going! We are never so much ourselves as when we are most His. We have found ourselves. We have arrived. We have obeyed the deepest law of the universe: “If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it.”  

-- E. Stanley Jones,  Victorious Living --